LeMoose · Salon

Now that you are all reassured that I have indeed, reemerged, and am not in fact dead; I have to request that you don't kill me. Or pelt me with rotten fruit. *ducks, narrowly missing a pineapple* Really, now that's not just fair.
Ok, I deserved it. I would like to thank xstuck_in_dragx and ajat for taking the time to e-mail me, politely asking where the hell I was. I have no good excuse I'm afraid; all I can say is I slipped into a Snape-daze for a few weeks and then before recovering completely, I was cruelly forced to take a multitude of achievement examinations. *sighs*
I missed you guys very much--antisocial nerd, snowapples, ajat, stuck in drag (that name will always make me chuckle), glove_love, and much thanks to liana liggins.
I haven't abandoned this story--I enjoy it too much. Once hell week is over at school, I'll take the time to revise my last few chapters for some of the errors I remember some of you guys being kind enough to point out, review some of Ajat's splendid ideas, and start writing the next installation. I'm thinking there's about four more chapters to go and the story will be finished.
Then we'll see what happens. :) Again, I love you all so much and thanks for staying true! I hope you'll find it in your hearts to forgive this errant author. ^-^

I apologize for the longer-than-usual wait, but I'm fairly certain that what I've written for chapter seven will make up for it. :D It's a bit more introspective than the previous chapters, but it gets more fun at the end!

Without further ado, I present you:

( Chapter Seven: A FODDERING FALSEHOOD )


( Teh' Trench Coat y le Beard )

*peers from behind a boulder warily* Coast looks clear.
*comes out, and is instantly pelted with rotten produce*
Yes, I know you're not happy about how late this chapter is. To make concessions, I've included a surprise character (And to be fair to all commentators, a new "surprise" character will appear in every chapter from now on.) and this chapter is a bit more romantic than the others. Hopefully still with some comedic fringe benefits.
Now go read chapter six, you maniacs!

( Chapter Six: DRAG IN THE MUD )

Finally, the long-awaited (and long) chapter five for your perusing pleasure.

...wherein Alan makes some unexpected discoveries and Scotland has a lively nightlife. Shattering teacups aren't remiss either, neither are partially closeted homosexuals. Get ready for a fun, family-friendly romp into the life of "forty-four-ish and foppy" Alan Rickman!

( Chapter Five: HEARTBREAKS AND SLASHY ROMPS )


( Alan Poses in the Mystical Grey Suit )


On an interesting side note, I did one of those celebrity biorhythm compability tests with AR. The results were...curious. It's kind of like Snape and Hermione, I guess: in fandom they have a strong physical and intellectual attraction, but emotionally, there's something left to be desired.

Physical: 100%
Emotional: 11%
Intellectual: 99%
Total: 70%

You can compare your compatability at:

Match yourself with Alan Rickman

Thank you all for your continuing support! Some of you had suggestions, and I would like to mention that this is the last of the pre-written chapters I've had, so I will definitely take recs into consideration when writing future chapters.

Finals week is also approaching, so I might be slow on the updating. Chapter Four is a bit slow--a filler chapter--but chapter five promises some forbidden romance, although not the objective romance we're after here. ;)

Without further ado, Chapter Four for your perusing pleasure:

( Chapter Four: FLIGHT OF THE APPLES )

The following image was taken directly from the website, so it should work for your browser.

( A Splendid Forty-Seven, Indeed )

I'm so pleased with the responses I've gotten for just the first chapter. I hope you all will keep in touch and enjoy the ride. :)

Without further ado, I present Chapter Two for your perusing pleasure.
( Chapter Two: RESPLENDENT BOVINES )

The mandatory photo that is to accompany RESPLENDENT BOVINES:

Enjoy!

( Jane Davenport's Snape-ish Visualization )

I'm an avowed Harry Potter fanatic, and OlympiaManet3000's Ourobouros is my bible. Come to the dark side. We have cookies, Lord Voldemort, Lucius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, and Severus Snape (kinda). ;)

I publish most of my fan fiction here or at ff.net under ContemporaryManner, but there are no fan fiction sites devoted to Alan Rickman which is a travesty since I had a wonderful idea for a story.


Summary:


Alan Rickman has finally approached the big 6-0, and compensates by seeking out a neurotic therapist who will be able to help him through a very mystifying paranormal event. With every day, he grows a year younger, and he struggles to conceal his growing youth from the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix set, and most of all, his intimidating, nubile co-star, Emma Watson, who insists on soliciting Alan Rickman's fatherly advice and a listening ear as she tries to pursue the teenager who plays Young Snape in the infamous Pensieve scene.
Mostly humourous, with a dash of romance among consensual, of-age individuals.





Chapter one of Subtract a Day for your perusing pleasure.

( Chapter 1: CITRIC BUNNIES )


Below are photos meant to assist with imagining the various stages of Mr. Rickman's ordeal. :)
The lj-cuts both describe which part of the story the photos "go with", so to speak, and provide a link to the website where the photos may be viewed in all their glory.
Enjoy!

( 60 in the Drake )